Intuition… something I have come to trust more and more as time goes by..
Trusting it as well has also been an important part in the process as it’s one thing your intuition tells you something, and it’s another one that we actually listen and follow through!
I think some of this work and learning began to take solid form around 2005. It was around about a time in my life where I had finished my training as an Alexander Technique teacher which brought me such joy and opened me up to so many moments of challenging this trust and listening.
I was also, at the time, in a rather dysfunctional relationship. Towards the middle to the end of 2005 the relationship came to an end.. and part of the final nail in the coffin as it were, was my intuition screaming at me to get the hell out of that situation and run as far away from this person and their mess as I could.
I of course was not entirely mess free either, but I just knew that something wasn’t right. I had known it for a few years and I was holding on… for some reason. Call it fear, call it whatever you want. But in August of 2005 my intuitive self was yelling so strongly that I finally had to answer and the truth came out and therefore the relationship came to an end.
Of course when any relationship ends it’s difficult. Not least because you get kind of used to having that person and all the people that make up that circle in your life, part of your life.. and then all of a sudden, boom, it´s all falling apart and people are choosing sides and well, choices have to be made. It also involved HUGE changes in my life, such as moving country again, giving up my home, my belongings and my life as I had know it for almost 8 years..
So I made a decision and I look back on that moment as pivotal in my life. It was truly a moment of revelation to how important it is that I listened to my intuition and I trusted!
I have taken this with me in every decision I have made since!
Turning point moments in life and career mostly… but even down to what kind of clothes to wear, food to eat, where to go, what to do, teach in a class or perform in a concert etc..
I like to think that I have come to respect my intuition and that we have an understanding!
There are of course times when I turn the volume down a bit… and that might be overshadowed my work load or my life load etc. I also know that this isn’t the best thing.. but it gives me a window of time and I will soon turn the volume up again as my body, mind and soul will not stop giving me messages!
But overall, I have come to understand that this voice inside me knows best. And that the best way to move forward to is to stop, listen and trust.
I can look back on the last 10 years and see that so many of my decisions were based on this. I would not be where I am today had I not trusted my intuition which guided me in taking some leaps of faith into unknown and unchartered territory.
I had no idea 10 years ago that my life would now be based in Mexico City! That I would have recorded two jazz albums, be working with some amazing musicians and collaborating with some wonderful creative artists and teachers. That I would also be teaching the Alexander Technique at several prestigious educational institutions and that I would be doing it all in SPANISH! A language I have wanted to learn since I was a teenager!!
It’s hard to know when we have our low energy days or our darker moments whether we are on the right path.. as we look ahead and sometimes even just look around and begin to compare or think WHAT IF etc…
I’ve done it, I still do it from time to time. But then I stop, I listen and I trust.
I am where I should be right now. All the circumstances that are my reality are MY reality. I create it and I chose to live it.
Yes, sometimes I wish things could be a little easier or a little different. And yes I am human and I have a bit of a strop and a whine about why some aspects of my life are so challenging..
But then I shake it off ( maybe I have a duvet day or a me day) and then I get on with it.
Life is about now and about making the most of it. We may not always succeed, but we have to try!
One of the songs I wrote after my experiences around 2005 and has since been added to my second album MOMENTS OF LIGHT is the song ¨TRY¨.
¨ I walk the path to my salvation No crossroad doubts, no hesitation
Just listen now and hear the voice within
It’s calling me with songs so free, From chains of old, the forgotten me
Try not to test it, try not to question. Deep in the soul the voices beckon
You’ve got the answers, I’ve got the will to change
All my illusions and indecision
Hear me, see me, show me Hear me, speak to me Show me ¨
In the upcoming weeks I’ll share the rest of the lyrics on my facebook page: